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Why was this movie made? Nvm, I see a 20th Century Fox logo in the bottom right corner of these dreadful TV spots

dragonball-evolution2How do you even remotely pitch such a project to a major studio?  Oh, right…this is Twentieth Century Fox we’re talking about.  Those producers will buy into anything as long as it appears marketable.  Who cares who directs it, writes it, or even acts in it?  Hire Chow Yun Fat – he’ll take anything these days, as long as it tops Bulletproof Monk, right?  What, Justin Chatwin isn’t muscular enough for the part of Goku?  Pshh, what do you think this is, Batman Begins?  Uh oh, fans are complaining about Piccolo not being green…Floyd, I need you to do a color change on this pointy-eared alien so we can make more money on this movie.

Boy, I hope this studio’s at least somewhat satisfied that the money they’ve cheated off of “Watchmen” will make up for at least some of the devastating losses this movie will suffer in its first weekend…day…hour as fans make the intelligent decision to walk out of the theater 10 minutes in.  Alright, Bulma and Chi Chi look pretty hot, I’ll give them that, but this movie…eh, not so (psst…it’s online…google around for it if you dare!).  Seriously, Fox.  This is insulting of you to actually expect audiences to pay for and sit through this movie, as you did for a movie you distributed a couple weeks back titled “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li” (I admit that I regretfully sat through that…oh, man…).

Well, Fox, you did bring us two amazing TV shows called “24” and “House”, and from that, we at AngryWeb have managed to garner an iota of sympathy to do a little promoting of your little movie, after all your failed attempts at professional filmmaking.  Our further condolences go out to the UK, which now has to suffer from the commercial broadcasting of these 5 character spots for “Dragonball Evolution”.  For those who are actually shaking in their pants to see this r-evolutionary epic, “Dragonball Evolution” hits theaters April 18.  Hey, I’m sure it’ll be “The #1 Movie in America”!

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One Response

  1. Interesting blog, I’ll try and spread the word.

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