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Batman throws Robin under the bus

There’s this new Batman movie coming out soon. I think it’s called The Night a Clown Came to Town: Batman 2, Electric Baloogaloo. Christian Bale, the actor most people know as Quinn Abercromby in Reign of Fire, has threatened to kill himself if Chris O’Donnell reprises his role as Robin in the third movie.

If Robin crops up in one of the new Batman films, I’ll be chaining myself up somewhere and refusing to go to work.

As a young man, I watched a movie about a lonely retarded boy who wanted nothing more than to play football. It made me tear up as the poor boy struggled to comprehend simple, daily things, like the tragic circus incident that killed his parents. I think it may have involved an elephant.

He had a mentor, a father figure, if you will, who took him under his wing to protect him from the harsh reality they share. In this brightly lit, neon carnival they called home, the two worked as a team to fight off defensive linemen and the occasional thief, until half way through the movie, my brother, home from a long day of work, interrupted to ask me why I was crying.

“This movie Radio is so touching,” I said. “I can never understand the pain of being mentally challenged, yet my heart weeps for their plight.”

He looked from the television to me.

“This is Batman Forever,” he replied. I haven’t shed a tear since.

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2 Responses

  1. i guess Christian Bale is the only “Chris” batman films will ever need again. Although, having grown up on those first 4 batmans, Chris O’donnell will always have a special place in my wet dreams

  2. Christian Bale can go to hell. Eventually, they will have to bring in Robin. The franchise doesn’t need Bale. There are plenty of other actors who can play Batman, and do a much better job, since they actually have talent! Let him go ahead and chain himself up, he won’t be missed, but you can’t have Batman without Robin too long. It’s just not right!

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