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So I’m in one of those fancy new two lane drive-thrus at McDonalds the other morning which allows you to order twice as fast but takes two times longer to get your food (bang up marketing right there Ronald). Anyways, I decided to drop 3 of my hard-earned dollars on two Sausage McMuffins. A deal like that should not be passed up and at the same time worries me that they can give me two delicious sandwiches for 3 bucks and still make a profit.

Back to the task at hand. I pulled in a bit after 10:52 in the A.M. only to find myself in a verbal argument with a machine that’s sticking out of some freshly-cut grass. Apparently, Ronald feels that nobody wants breakfast after 10:30 in the morning. Until recently, I didn’t even know there was a 10:00 in the morning. I thought that was a time of day that only associated itself with nighttime.

So here I am trying to tell the nice foreign lady, in the language of her choice, that it’s breakfast or nothing for me. Unfortunately, I used my training from watching NASCAR to pick the inside lane of the wondrous two lane drive-thru which also served as a barricade that prevents anybody discouraged from the lack of a breakfast menu from leaving in a calm and orderly manner. So I sat in my car while the McLemmings moved along and waited for my turn to go through the drive-thru without stopping at either window.

It’s amazing how a situation of wasted time in the McDonald’s drive-thru can transform every image of Ronald McDonald into an image of humility. It was me he was laughing at that day. But I don’t think it takes a well-known economist to tell the company that a 24 hour breakfast menu could do wondrous things for the establishment. Get your shit together Ronald. You must be the laughing stock of the clown community now that Mr. InTheBox offers his breakfast menu when I want breakfast and not when he tells me to want it.


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